Chatumentary

Your WhatsApp group,as a naturedocumentary.

Export the chat and Professor Finch studies it. Everyone gets a species, one of you gets the Award of the Night, and the receipts come from your own chat.

Free trailer · iPhone and Android · English and Arabic

The file is never uploaded. Your show opens only with your link. How Finch handles your chat

Professor Finch watching through his binoculars

Professor Finch has studied your group chat.

What your group gets.

A real show for Flat 4B, five fictional flatmates. Yours is built from your own chat.

  1. A species for everyone

    A species for everyone

    Decided by the numbers. Sami sent 60 messages in 18 months: the Ghost.

  2. The Award of the Night

    The Award of the Night

    One medal in the free trailer, for the biggest win. Zain: 666 messages after midnight.

  3. Receipts from your chat

    Receipts from your chat

    Real messages with their timestamps. The spicy ones arrive behind a censor bar you tap to uncover.

  4. Then the group plays

    Then the group plays

    Everyone guesses who's who, claims their card, appeals the verdict and votes.

Watch an episode.

Flat 4B. Five people, one fridge, 4,684 messages. Tap through it the way your group will.

A fictional group, narrated for real.

What's the difference?

What's in itTrailerDirector's Cut
Everyone's species
Field cards: superpower, fatal flaw, statsEveryone
Medals1One each
Receipts from your chat1Up to 25
Chaos score, who replies to whom, Finch's verdict
A deep dive on everyone, the group's eras
Finch's voiceOpeningEvery slide
Kept for30 daysA year
Open the full case file

How it works.

  1. Export the chat.

    In WhatsApp, open the group, tap its name, then Export chat, then Without media. On Android: ⋮, More, Export chat.

  2. Choose the file here.

    Your phone opens it and counts every message. The file is never uploaded.

  3. Watch, then send it to the group.

    Everyone finds their species, guesses who's who and votes.

No Export chat option? Someone in the group turned on Advanced chat privacy. Ask the group: it can be switched off in the group info.

Show me every tap

The field guide.

Every member gets one species, decided by the numbers, not by vibes.

The Ghost

Chameleon

Seenus noreplyus

2% of messages

Detected by: the smallest share of messages for the longest time in the group

Has seen everything. Has said nothing. Remains, somehow, in every photo.

Who is the Ghost?

Three flatmates. One of them read every message for 18 months and almost never answered. One message from each:

Free to watch. $7.99 if your group wants the whole ceremony.

  • Admit one group

    Free trailer

    Freefor everyone with the link

    Kept 30 days

    • Everyone's species
    • The Award of the Night
    • One receipt from your chat
    • The guessing game, your own card and appeals
    • Finch reads the opening aloud
  • Admit one groupMost groups

    Director's Cut

    $7.99once, for the whole group

    Kept a year

    • Everyone's field card: superpower, fatal flaw, stats
    • A medal for every member, up to 15, plus 2 Finch judges himself
    • Up to 25 receipts, the busiest day and the chaos score
    • Who replies to whom and Finch's verdict
    • A deep dive on everyone and the group's eras
    • Finch narrates every slide
    • The Patron medal for whoever pays

    $11.99 for groups of 13 or more.

  • Admit one group

    Your Tea

    $2.99just for you

    Private to you

    • Who answers you fastest
    • Who rarely answers you
    • Your person and your red flag
    • Your match in the group

One payment, no subscription. Prices are in US dollars; your bank converts them. You buy from inside your show, after the free trailer.

Start with the free trailerAdmit two. Your chat with one person.

Your turn.

Export your group chat from WhatsApp and hand it through the window.

Narrate my group chat

The file is never uploaded. Your show opens only with your link. How Finch handles your chat

Questions from the field

Do you upload my chat?

The file is never uploaded. Before any quote goes to the AI, your phone swaps the names you saved for codes like M1. A nickname can still slip through. How Finch handles your chat

Is it free?

The trailer is: everyone's species, the Award of the Night, one receipt, the guessing game, your own card and appeals, kept 30 days, with Finch reading the opening. The Director's Cut is $7.99 once for the whole group ($11.99 for 13 or more): everyone's field card, a medal for every member, up to 25 receipts, the chaos score, who replies to whom, Finch's verdict, the deep dives and eras, and Finch narrating every slide, kept a year. No subscription.

iPhone or Android?

Both. WhatsApp only exports chats from its phone app, so start on your phone. On a computer, scan the code at the top of this page.

Who can see our show?

Only people with the link. The show is encrypted on your phone and the key is part of the link, which never reaches our server unless we email it to you. Free shows expire after 30 days, and you can delete yours instantly.

Does it work in Arabic?

Yes: Arabic, English, Arabizi or any mix, slang and emoji included. Finch narrates in your group's own dialect, Egyptian, Gulf, Levantine or a mix, and quotes stay exactly as written.

How harsh is it?

Cheeky by default: teasing, a little spicy. Pick the Night tour if everyone can take more. Finch roasts behaviour, never who people are, and some topics are always off limits.

Do I need everyone's permission?

It's their chat too, and the show is made to be sent straight back to them. Anyone can appeal their verdict, and you can delete the link at any time.

Why do some names show as numbers?

WhatsApp exports people who aren't in your contacts as phone numbers. Finch asks you to name them before the show. The labels you type stay on your phone. If someone writes that name in a message, it can still appear in a quote.

Why dollars?

Prices are in US dollars everywhere. If your card is in another currency, your bank converts it.

Which apps work?

WhatsApp, on iPhone and Android. Telegram and Discord are on the list.